OOC: Why does it not pay to work harder in an RPG

So for years now I've been the hardest working person in the gaming group.  Mostly letting the others ride my coat tails and whine.  It's not fair that I bothered to read the rules.  It's not fair that I talked my way into fixing an in game problem and got something out of it.  That kind of thing.

From there is moves onto openly stealing my ideas.  I want a flying mount that can do some stuff, suddenly new characters show up with the almost exact mount I had been talking about.  NPCs, yeah, maybe a way to get me what I was looking for.  PCs just being dicks.

I talked about the business I worked out in the previous post.  All kinds of problems, from people being pissed that I had money to some how it was wrong that my character started broke was now the richest.

This stuff was also a problem in D&D given that I handled group inventory.  While I was handing out +5 weapons as we found them, the +4 weapons and equipment that I had used since level 12 where a problem at level 23.

Now the GM has made it clear that he will not let me do anything big.  Even if we do go back to the Marvel game.

This pisses me off as I'm a firm believer in getting rewarded for hard work.  Not for floating along and just demanding things like petulant children.  I really don't understand the point of playing if you can't win something.  It's way to every one gets a trophy for me.

Maybe I'll come to terms with this but one of the problems is we are playing Exalted now and Exalted is so SJW friendly that it doesn't have ways to reward players.  Every one comes out equal for the most part.  Depending on if you made all the games.

It's a crazy world and I'm not sure that gaming is really worth it any more.

I miss my old powers

"I never had to hang my head in shame
For puttin' a price tag on my name
Never turned my back on what I believe
Or let my heart be ruled by greed
'Cause buddy if I didn't earn it, I don't want it
That way I can always say, I got it honest"
"I Got It Honest" was written by Tippin/burch/johnson.

About my second year of high school I figured out a way to bypass the fact that part of my long term academic probation.  I had been put on financial restriction for some of the bad things that I was prone to do.  (Remind me to write about why harmless pranks are worse than putting people in comas).  What I did was use the existing ability to pull certain kinds of matter to me in limited quantity.  Shifting it from bringing armor material to precious metal and exotic materials.

This would let me gather 50lbs of material from a 75 mile radius every 3 seconds or so.  Given that gold and other minerals exist in microscopic quantities in soil and sea water, I could sit in one place and go for months without effecting anything.This led me to going to mining school, buying vast tracts of land in the middle of now where, and forming what would become the crown jewel of my achievements (outside of getting Rebbecca to marry me).  I formed my multinational mineral management company Large Mouth Industries.

LMI had offices in Washington State, Canada, India, Qatar, and Brazil.  Within a few short years of starting up I was moving so much cargo that I had to have a teleporter on staff to keep things moving smoothly.

Eventually I did run into a problem cause Savage Dragon didn't like the fact that I was a better wrestler (that's how I chose to remember it) and I got PNG'd from Canada.  So I shut down the portion of the company there and chose to not to business with any company head quartered in Canada.  Then there was the problem with my teleporter being wanted and having to live on the run.  Secure satellite coms are a must in that kind of environment.

Earth 2:

After the space ship mission at some point I started suffering power burn out.  I lost the ability to pull material to me.  I also seem to have lost the ability to adapt to new forms.  

While this was a major point in my story, other than keeping me from selling any more kryptonite to Luthor it was something I could live with.  It just meant restructuring and colapsing some of the reach a lot.  But since I was also running a school it wasn't that big a deal.

Earth 1701:

On this world the ship missing was almost 10 years later. No power loss and even less drama.  I had expanded my use of my abilities to things like vibranium. Nth metal, and cleaning up fallout from nuclear weapons testing.

My skill set had also expanded to advanced metallurgy.  I was pouring both kinds of vibranium, nth metal and adamantium.  These skills would serve me well later.

BNW:

OOC: I've been put on restriction by the GM that I can never again be a big money making machine because the other players think it's cheating some how.

Song lyrics

Now some one might stumble in here and read some of this some day so maybe I should answer a question.  Why the song lyrics in a lot of the posts?

Well the simpleton that plays me started with a simple concept.   What if the guy who Chris LeDoux was singing about in a lot of his songs was a kid from Idaho?  What if that kid grew up in the area and in the family of the Sheriff (Bo Tully) that Patric McManus wrote about?  What if that poor messed up kid who over felt things and grew up poor but lucky was mixed with the Marvel Mangaverse "Thing"?

Well that's how I ended up being here.

The Song lyrics are still used to this day to test emotion responses and come up with ideas on how to deal with things.  Also story points when telling background stories or allegories.

OOC:  Why I don't think we can go back


"But I hear with my heart
What she says with her eyes with
Good evening, Manuel or Manuel, por favor
Or The carriage, Manuel or Manuel, close the door"

Read more: Kingston Trio - San Miguel Lyrics | MetroLyrics

 

OOC: I really don't think we can go back to the marvel game the way we left things.  Not and have any kind of feel like we used to have. Since the world restart we've struggled and nothing for me as felt good like it used to.  Mostly its the lack of participation in people's own characters.  They don't seem to even try and connect to them in a game that is mostly about interpersonal relationships.  If you don't know who your character is it's hard to interact with people in a real way.

This really hurts me a lot, losing this game.  This was the game where I really got to stretch out and do and be things that I loved.  In the last year I lost my dad, my favorite uncle, my home, my health, my game and my favorite characters.  It's been a shitty year.

Part of the problem was I think people never quite got what was going on and they didn't ever have their characters really react to the level of change they went through.  But then again none of them ever had anything they worked for in the previous game to loose.  I had worked my ass off to get where I was.  Some of it was exploitative of the system but most of it was long hours working with the GM to get stuff worked out the way it needed to be.  Plus years of gaming to get things in place.

This new game we are playing they all seemed to be excited about but I could leave it and never think of it again.  Plus I'm told I need to change my play style to cater to their inability to see anything going on.  Now I have to explain to them what's going on.  Like they are a bunch of damned little kids.  Now grown ass men in their 20-40's

How do people who have been gaming for over 10 years still fall for every contrived or basic GM trick?  Oh that's right, not paying attention or treating it like it's a real world.

I'm not a good player, but I follow along and I try and do my best.  I find it hard to understand why people would do something like gaming that takes up so much of your time and not put some effort into it.

But I'm probably wrong.  Sure the GM agrees with me but we are both bad players.

Oh and lets not forget that the other players don't like it when I rules argue cause they don't get that I argue for balance and so oppose their frivolous wants to make their character awesome that minute.

So if I want to play I have to play their game.  Ok, fine.  I'll do that but like I told them, I'm not building the world and I'm not making the decisions this go round.  We'll see how that works out.

 

 

"Once I had a heart cold as ice love to me was only for fun
I'd make a mark for each broken heart
Like notches on the butt of a gun
Once I had a trick up my sleeve and a reputation all over town
I was heartless and cold wherever I'd go
I shot down every young girl I found"
"Now who'd have thought that someone like you could take a desperado like me
But oh here I am I'm as meek as a lamb
With my bleeding heart there at your feet

Yes I used to be a moonlight bandit I used to be a heartbreak kid
Then I met you and the next thing I knew
There I was oh shot full of love"  ~ Chris LeDoux 'Shot full of love'

Where would I be with out the women that I've had in my life. I'm not talking about ones that are in my family or ones I work with, but the ones that I learned to love.

In my youth I was not a good person to women.  Once I learned what I could use there sex organs for I pretty much found ways to use them as much as possible with out any thought to the damage I was doing the person they where attached to.

That peaked the time that I had sex with a woman through some holding cell bars over the body of a security guard (knocked out).  Oh did I mention I tasered her a few times during and dove into her ass unprepared?   Cause that was part of it too.

So yeah, I had a lot to learn and find out.

After a while I started to find that it was more rewarding to treat women like real people and that did have some massive benefits.

I never would have had Aquaman make me a sandwich if it wasn't for Lydia. I never would have met the Batman if it wasn't for Cissy.  I wouldn't have had the freedom to run my life as shitty as I have it it wasn't for Rebbecca.  Just to name a few.

While those years and miles are behind us, I often at night think of them.  Back then I never thought that things would ever be leaving but I guess some things just don't stay as they are.  But I will always have the memories and those will be with me like my love.  It will go on until the end of time.

If any one ever does read these, don't let yourself down like I have.  The guilt I have carrying around the logs from my wife and knowing that I can never read them because of what Mr Wright did will haunt me as long as there is breath in me.  

Why I don't think we'll go back

Haz: Half of our current group doesn't really want to play the game any more.  And it's getting to be where I don't want to either.  Why should I go back to playing a game where I'm the only one who ever does any work besides the GM. 

At this point if I do even go back to gaming (I've skipped over a month of games) I'm more than happy to not be attached, and not do more than let them know they are dumb.

I shouldn't feel this way and I shouldn't be treating it like a revenge fantasy but right now I don't care.

I'd rather work an extra day a week than deal with it.  After getting ridiculed for reading too much 3.5 and 'cheating' by reading the options or getting accused of cheating for having learned to build characters for mutants and masterminds that aren't stupid why should I care any more.

I miss when I used to look forward to gaming days in advance or all week.  Sadly I just don't have anything to dig into with the current Exalted game.  And even in Marvel we've bogged down by people who don't get what's going on and stall out the progress that some of us are trying to make to be a hero at some point.

So we probably won't be going back.  Meaning that in 2014/2015 I lost;
My Dad
The family ranch
My uncle Barnie (dad's older brother)
My dog
My characters
My love of gaming
My drive to be a good gamer
My hope for the future
My health continues to get worse
My dreams

"Between the high lines and the fence posts
The interstate and the dirt roads
No matter how the wind blows
I hear your name
Out of all the things I've done that I regret
There's only one I'd like to change
Out here, between the rainbows and the rain" 
~ Between The Rainbow And The Rain
(Brett Jones, Tony Lane and Jess Brown)

Haz: I got in a converstation with the group GM tonight about where the current game is headed.  Where in he told me that he was looking at giving my character a wife or a super close friend.  I turned around and told him he could stuff the idea of a wife and a super close friend.  Cause after the last year I'm not having any part of building that kind of thing up in game ever again.

This might need a bit of background.   In 2013 he used a story line that was based on something my dad told me against me.  That being that my dad at some point become physically intimidated by my size.  I'm a pretty big guy at 6'2" and broad.  My dad was 5'8" at his peak and was solid but not big.  I take after my mom's side of the family for build.  This was also while my dad was just starting to get sick with his cancer.

Then with in a month or so of my dad passing he did the world reboot that caused my character's wife to be killed off and the new universe version of her to reject him.  Since ever one he knew are also from different universe they are all strangers.

Now I'm sure there are going to a lot of people going what's the big deal?  Games come and go all the time.  Well when you've been playing the same person for over 8/9 years and you knew everything about them, the way they see things, the people they know and everything is so clear that it's like living a separate life.

I'm not against new games or new things in them.  I'm just never going to let a game hurt me the way the old ones ended up.

The meme was posted by the guy who write and draws the Terminal Lance comic.  I thought it summed up the way I feel about a lot of the people I've worked with in the past that I've seen come in from their other selves.

For the most part I don't hate them, why should I?  That would take up way more of my time than I'm willing to give them.  Some of them live on that fact though and it bugs me when they are willing to come so close to the line and then puss out right before they cross it.

Sad thing is that most of them aren't evil, they are just clueless.  They run around like they are free to do what ever they want with out consequence never figuring out that it's all a test.  It's a test to subtle that if you where to say keep your eyes closed for the time it takes to walk across Nevada you would miss it.  Yet some how they do.

I used to feel sorry for them and even tried to help but they for the most part just claim that they don't understand english and that it's my fault.  Now some times I do try and teach with allegory and not everyone gets that kind of thing.  But most people understand that when you tell them a story about something happening and it's related to what's going on they can put it together or at least ask questions.

You have to ask questions to be successful because you are not the other person and they are not you. Unless you're multiple man and then all bets are off.

"There are songs about the heroes and the great things they have done
And the hell they went through to get this far
But this song is for the cowboy who never been a hero
And the hard times he goes through all the while

He gives it all he's got, but it's never quite enough
Oh, the Lord and him alone know how he's tried
But he'll try and try again, although he'll never win
And all that he's got goin' is his pride.

CHORUS
He's never been a hero and he probably never be one
But in his heart he knows he gave his all
My hat goes off to you my friend
And to the champ you might have been
If Lady Luck had smiled on you at all.

The broncs are just too tough, and he doesn't have enough
Of what it takes to make it to the top
What makes him want to go - well, Lord, I guess I know
He loves it too damn much to ever stop.

He bites the dust once more - gets up to hear "no score"
Then he stumbles to the chutes to ease the pain
And underneath his breath he cusses to himself
I'll ride him if I get the chance again.

 CHORUS

If Lady Luck had smiled on you at all" ~ Chris LeDoux "Not For Heroes"

There has never been a better description of how my life has been since I started trying to be a hero than this song.

I'm not perfect, far from it (except as a lover, I excel at that). But I do try hard and apply myself to things that need my attention.

Most of the stories on here are universal but the game itself took place in several different worlds that are mostly identical.

In the main universe the game ended well after the space ship mission that brought about the end of the 1701 verse.

In the universe 2 (Universe 1 ended with a Thanagarian invasion that was handled so badly that it required reset) I survived the ship mission and we where able to blow up the ship but it cost the lives of 48 or so of the people who went up there.  I was not permitted to go do the blowing up part that I probably could have survived so we lost one member of the team that way.

In the aftermath we went through some struggles and we ended up rearranging some things.  Because of the mass influx of new characters needed we moved to a new school, my school.  I had constructed a school facility and business head quarters for Large Mouth Industries my mining company in Idaho.  So the few of us almost adults moved there and I started to administer a school.  This gave me a way to have my wife close like I liked, I got to give her things she wanted and I got to be in charge of things.  Now I wasn't the best admin the system had ever seen but I didn't even get 6 months to work it out.

After a few problems and a couple of disagrements I ended up relocating to Nevada to be closer to my mining properties.  This was also about the time that my ability to collect materials started to fade.  Now I've still never seen any evidence of real X-Gene mutants having there powers fade but that's a different story. So I was having to find a way to do things the right way when I had been cheating.

This was part of a long standing feud in the gaming group where people thought I used the money to bypass things.  And if buying plane tickets and getting a car from a dealer instead of finding one used is cheating, I'm guilty.  So now in this Brave New World I'm told flat out that the GM will never let me have my own money again.  Not that we are hurting for it but seriously, what's the point of working harder that ideas and accomplishments if you cant build a reward in game?

Why it will never be the same.

Hey, I'm Haz-matt, I play Tim on TV.
Our group's gm tries really hard to come up with interesting stories for us to play through. Problem is we have some questionable players who aren't here for the same reasons.  This makes it really hard to get any traction.

Now before our big reset I had insulated myself off from the people who where never going any place.  But since the restart there is way to much pretending we where ever friends in game and all of my old NPC's are scattered to make the other people who never bother with the NPC's feel better

I'm a firm believer that I treat every one in the game PC or NPC like it's a real person when I'm dealing with them.  I can't help the other players any more after trying for years to get them to play a character worth a damn.

So things will never be right and thats one reason why I'm not sure I even want to role play any more.  It just feels like a waste of my limited time.

People I need to track down

Ulik the Troll.  Best damn blacksmith in the galaxy.  Need to find out how to deal with Uru.

Ray Palmer, got to nail this guy down and find out what he did to Hank Pym.

Not a person but need to steal fire from the new gods.  Element X as a power source.

 Suspendium or as I like to think of it, Val's boogers.

Radion is the one element that is lethal to Orion and the other New Gods.

  Rannian scientist Sardath for his zeta beam tech

 

rewared failure

On of the things that has bugged me greatly over the time I've been doing this crap work has been people getting rewarded for failure.  It's the kind of thing you see in government all the time.  Screw up and embarrass some one, get promoted and moved.  Cause for some reason they can't fire you.  Never mind the fact that in government (federal) the congress can dismiss any federal employee at any time for any reason.

But what's to be done about it.  Even when I was a field commander I didn't have the power to get people off my team that seemed to be protected by some one.  This led to a lot, and I mean a lot, of problems.

So why do some people feel like never getting anything right or not trying hard is acceptable?  I have no idea.  It wasn't the way I was raised. 

The problem is that I think too many people think their problems are their own.  What I mean by that is classically the problem of the troop is the problem of the commander.  But the troop has a responcibility to do their job or the commander diciplines them.  But what happens when not the commander's boss but the commander's boss' boss' boss is tell you that nothing you say at that level matters.

Well you end up like me, beat down and feeling worthless 'cause your hard work and atempts to go beyond what is expected don't mean anything.

When failure is accepted, winning means nothing.

That's one of the reasons I get beat down so much.  Because I get the same rewards as those who never do anything.  Yet something in me still screams to try and keep trying.  I just get so beaten down though.

Its also not like I never screw up, but when I do I try not to do the same thing again.

I just wish some other people thought that way.

Why I do what I do

Why would some one choose a line of work that pretty much means they are taking a literal beating almost every day?  For me that's simple.  I do it because I can take that burden from some one else.

No one wants to get hit, no one wants to bleed, no one wants to deal with the trauma of broken bones.  Yet those of us that choose the life of a warrior write that blank cheque with our bodies and our minds.  Oh yeah, I forgot the constant threat of having your mind shattered by a telepath or being banished by a magic user.

These are not normal threats that people deal with in normal lives.  I'm not saying we are like soldiers, never would.  But we do extraordinary things and put our selves in harms way.

For every punch I take, for every time I bleed, for every time I have a heal an injury that's one time that some one else didn't have to.  It's the gift I have to give to others.  Even if they don't know it, even if they never know what I did.  For greater love.

Now in this new world, I have a purpose.  Not like gorgon who is training people to live after.  Not like Wright who is planning the war.  Not like Taboo and Jack who are part of the tip of the spear.  My purpose is to ensure that we have the material capacity to pull off these plans.

Wrights nano suits are great for us meta humans.  Tomai's mecha are great for dealing with ships and monsters.  Starks suits have the user interface that is able to make humans stand toe to toe with us.  Luthor has the power supply and the shields.  Von Doom has the weapons.

What do all these people lack, consistency and supply of the materials they need.  Now sure, just about any of them could do what I did.  I'm not any where near as smart as they are but in some ways that's been an advantage.

I built an empire on the notion that materials and logistics where the future.  Now it will be.

I've started down the path, first its Nth metal, that's the easy on to convince people of.  Next it's primary and secondary Vibranium.  Adamantium last since it's the least needed.

When they come, and they will come, they will have no idea what they are hitting.  They will kick a bee hive and we the earth will be heard throughout the cosmos.  They will know that we will defend ourselves.

 So here is where the vision comes in.

It's not about being the biggest, or the strongest, of the best.  It's about leveling the field and seeing who is standing at the end of the day.  So long as I draw breath, no alien will hold earth.  If I have to rip the ultimate nullifier out of Galactus' ass myself.  No sacrifice is to great, no bridge too far.

God grant them the wisdom to not test me.

Relationships old and new

A list of women I've been in a relationship with or suspect I was at some point.

Name: Anna Birdwell
Status: Dating
History:  I knew and worked for Anna at one point in the previous world.  She was really good friends with Rebbecca and would spend a lot of time with us on the weekends.  I ended up dating her on this side because she needed a place to stay after the fall out with trying to date Rebbecca and she was really cool about my issues and patient with me dealing with my problems.

Name: Susan "Cissy" King a.k.a. Arrowette
Status: Acquaintances
History: In the old verse Cissy and I where training partners, friends and at one point almost dating.  I credit her with a lot in my life.  She not only trained me to infiltrate buildings but also how to use a bow in combat.  She was also the first woman who I really respected and she made me stop thinking of them as just something to have fun with.  In the new verse she is hooked up with the League and I haven't gotten to spend much time with her but she's still nice.  For a while I was helping the new version of her transition from Olympic archery to combat.

Name: Daphene Lyrman 
Status: Friends
History: In the old verse Daphene and I had a long history of her getting shot and me getting her away from FOH groups.  In her old verse apparently I was some gorilla commander who taught her how to survive.  She's a little miss directed in the new verse but she's still a nice girl and loyal to a fault.

Name: Lindsey Winterton"Jedi"
Status: Friends
History: Jedi here has cosmic awareness making her pretty damn good at trivial pursuit.  I very much enjoy talking to her in both my lives and while others find her a little creepy, I find it nice to know some one else who knows their time will run out.

Name: Lillian Sommerfield "Taboo"
Status: Mentor
History: Taboo kind of puts up with the fact that I like to talk to Cracker Jack.  She's nice enough some times but she chafes at having to do mentor duty the same way I did and apparently might be being pigeon holed into again.

Name: Nadine Le Fuerre
Status:  Friends
History: In the old verse I turned Nadine's life around.  She needed family and I gave that to her.  In this verse she has her family but I still will always look out for her.  Now that it looks like she and Rosco are going to be together for a while I'm very happy for her.  She really does deserve to be happy.

Name: Lydia Khan
Status:
History: Old verse, Lydia and I where team mates, best friends, and often times partners in messing with Val's mind.  I taught her to be confident and be quick to action (even induced Kryptonians can slow themselves down with doubt).  In her old verse we where married and had kids.  This revelation has kind of messed me up cause I had always wondered what it would be like to have been in a relationship with her.  Not to mention now I grieve for kids that I never even met.  I haven't been able to make much ground in dealing with her as she remembers a version of me that much not have let himself get in his own way.

Name: Darcy Serrenette
Status: Friends
History: In the old verse I one needled Rebbecca that if she was tired of me then I could just marry her sister.  Well in Darcy's old verse I'm not exactly sure what happened but I'm pretty sure we where a thing at some point.  I like Darcy a lot but the closeness to her sister kept me from committing and I didn't want to break up her family that was really hurting and needed help.

Name: Rebbecca Serrenette
Status: N/A
History: What does some one say about their soul mate?  The one person who in all the universe completes the.  I still don't know.  All I know is that more of my heart died on that day I found her than I have left today.  I know people had problems with her but they have problems with me and a lot of them are the same problem.  It's not worth apologizing for being smarter, more driven and using what you have to the fullest extent possible.  So Fuck 'em, it worked for us.  I did trying dating her again in this verse but I did a bad job of it and scared her off.  Something I have to live with.  At least I got her to talk to her brother and sister again even if it did cost me another chunk of what's left of my heart.



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We where the best

In my second year of command of my junior team we where rolled with every other east coast team to respond to some super charged drug enhanced people who where tearing new york a new one.  At the time we would deploy on a tilt rotor that was big enough to drop all of us off at once.  For some reason I would let that fucktard fly the thing and some times he would get us there ok.  This time though he crashed us into the river with out engaging the safeties to hover us down.  So he's out of the fight with a broken control yoke in the chest. 

So I hop out and walk the plane to shore since I can lift it and walk in my water form.  So we deploy block and blocks from where we need to be.  Since at the time we didn't have on board ground transport we end up humping it up to where the fight it.  While making my way up there I end up being zapped by the biggest damned lightning bolt I've ever been hit with while I was water.  Not fun.  Took me a while and arrowette dragging me into the sewer to get back on my feet.  While this is going on our primary force hooked up with the on site avengers and are working on a plan.

We catch up with the main force and get ready for the attack.  But this is where something I did that was admittedly stupid came back to bite me.  I had gotten mad while working with the avengers liaison and had faxed a copy of my butt to the avengers mansion to express myself.  (I was 15)  Well some fucktard decided that if one was good 10,000 was better.  So Cap shows up with 10,000 faxes of my butt.  Lets just say our relationship wasn't ever the same after that. 

Getting back to the fight.  Once we where in the fight we managed to do enough to them that they took off and we lost them somewhere around Genosha.  But the real point is that my group was in combat for over 8 minutes.  About 10 times longer than any of the other student teams.  


We where true titans who where rolled to all the weird stuff. 

From ruining a lawn to being a farmer

Me and ground cover have a history.  Back in the day I was convicted with out trial by the crazy lady in charge of us for ruining a section of sod in the parking lot of a brewery in Milwaukee.  Now the asshole I was with put one person in a permanent vegetative state and  almost killed another but I was sent back in the middle of the night to replace some sod that I tore up activating my powers.  This was one of the reasons I have for years been loathe to use my powers in an active combat transformation style.  I'm more than happy to use them for travel or slower out of combat uses.

Later on sod would also play a part in a couple of jackwaggons tearing up my lawn with their stupid quads.  So I flooded their house and that was apparently disproportional retaliation.  Too bad for them I only know one speed.

Now there was the little incident with one of those dame jerk offs pissing me off again so I leveled his motocross track that he begged for, did no work on, and then never used.  I planted corn on it.  That was some good corn too.

Now it's true that two of my forms do depend on the earth, with rock and debris making up my primary structure at that point.  Maybe I'm just drawn to it, maybe I just don't like sod.  Who knows in the end.

What I do know is that blind black cunt should be glad she died in my universe and she better hope I never see her ass anywhere around me in this one.

Grudges

I hold grudges, I didn't used to but I do now.  I am loathe to let go of things more so when people humiliate or over react to something I do.  Like I said, I didn't used to be this way but I taught very carefully and over a period of time to learn to both hate and to wish ill upon people.  This is old universe stuff that has what I think was accidentally carried over to this world.

This world it was simple, I didn't know that it would happen.  So when I tapped that security guy in the chest I didn't think I would break him that bad.  But then the guy in the motorcycle helmet showed up and I went peacefully.  After locking me in a cell they engaged what I assume was a standard mutant nullifier and shot me with an AK for some damn reason.  So when I find that guy I'm going to shove that helmet up his ass and those bullet down his gullet.  Fuck that guy.

Why am I so worked up about something that did me no permanent harm?  Let talk about that.

For the most of the 4 years I was a member of the Write academy we students where routinely used in a training exercise to train law enforcement to be willing to use violence I normal looking kids.  For just about any infraction we would be teleported to there facility and incapacitated.  Following by beatings for things as bad as aggressive eye blinking. This would last from hours to days at a time.  Going so far as to put us in gen pop of some of the meta human jails to lose us for a while.

Later on I would be part of the group to start to bring down the people who had done this but that was years after the damage had been done.

So now I'm distrustful of authority and do not submit well to those for whom I have no knowledge of.  The problem in a lot of this has always been that I seem to take other people's lessons to heart and they ignore them.  While the people around me shrug it off and laugh like it was no big deal I learn to hate their weakness a little more.  They will always be weak as long as they aren't able to see their own failings.

So yeah, grudges.  I has them.

My ticking clock

When did I start knowing that I had a limited amount of time to live?  I don't really remember when it happened.  I know it was some time after my powers manifested.  But I've been living with this for two lives now. 

In the last verse I had started to embrace the idea that I might just make it.  My wife and I where happy, the business was going great, hell even my work as a marshal was good.  I had a life, I had family, I had happiness.  I lacked for nothing.  Even if I was still paid to go get the shit kicked out of me by other meta humans while the other members of the team would end up subduing them.  I was happy with it, I'm good at using my face to stop fists.  We all have talents. 

Then the colony ship happened, and the phoenix happened, and then I was alone.

So I was there in my 29th year and I couldn't take the ache any more.  Any one who survived my universe did so by leaving.  And there I was.  Any one that tells you they want to just be alone is a lair, they  want to control how they interact with people, they don't want to be alone.  I've been alone.  For 16 of the 17 months I was alive after earth I was alone.  There was nothing for a hundred light years and that's only as far as I could scan.

In the moment that I gave up, the moment I let go, the moment I condemned myself, I was; then, I was gone, and was again.

I don't think there is really any right or wrong in it.  I'm still the version I replaced but I'm also the version I left behind.  I wish I didn't regret it, but everything hurts so bad on this side.

But I side tracking because we are talking about me knowing I'm on a timer.

I still don't know how I know but I know I have to get things done.  I've got less than 15 years now to try and fix this and I doubt I'm up to it.  Then I'm constantly surrounded by people who seem to think they will live forever and even if they have see struggle before they fail to act like it will come again.  This time however, I will not let protocol, rank, or even niceness stand between me and saving earth.  I will be the man on the wall.

These thoughts though have stared to effect me.  I'm starting to think that I shouldn't even try and build up personal relationships, what's the point.  The loss of my wife was enough to drive me to madness, why would I want that again?

When Captain Kirk told Captain Picard to never give up his command, he had it right.  As long as you are the one in the chair you can make a difference.  If I had not listened to some middle managements idea of how to structure a command I would never have turned over the keys to people I had no respect for. 

The hate I feel for the people that put me in that position has also tainted my thoughts about Mr Wright.  I will still honor his wishes like I would my own fathers but I don't have the same respect for him that I had before.  Since he's seen all my logs I think he knows it too.

I am trying my best to do what he asked and make a new life, but what's the point of building up a whole pile of new things when I'm just one of the first things that will get thrown to the wheel.  Don't get me wrong I love Birdwell, I really do, but it's very hard to focus on trying to get broken again.

Maybe Mr Wright is correct and I should just hit em and quit em for a while.  I mean I was engaged to Rebbecca at 16 an married at 18 so it's not like I spent a long time running around.  I just hate doing that kind of thing.  It's so base and degrading to people to act like there is not emotional consequence for sex.

Character List

Name:	Ace Hood
Hero:	Dusk
Birthday:	Monday, October 04, 1993
Origin:	Bob
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Adelaide Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:	Marvel
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Al Sagese
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Al has been one of our primary combat instructors since we woke up in this new place.  He also has been willing to listen to Bass’ concerns about things.

Name:	Alex HO
Hero:	Top Hat
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Alexandrea Scott
Hero:	Knockout
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Allison Cunning
Hero:	Heatwave
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	While a little strange and unsure of herself Allison has been one of the few people on the island willing to help bass out with things.  She seems like a nice person who just needs someone to be there for her.

Name:	Aloha Alni
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Alysha Valentine
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Amanda Conners
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Amanda has been assigned to us to run the original security sweep operation and to act kind of like an old school operator and advisor.

Name:	Amber Rey Dell
Hero:	Iron Maiden
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Amy Jordan
Hero:	Boom
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Boom is one of the nicest people you will meet.  While she isn’t sure of herself she is loyal and brave enough.  She is immensely strong but can’t hit anything to save her life. Bass has admitted to her that he really likes her and would date her but she’s attached to Luke.

Name:	Anna P Birdwell
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Defecting from Rebecca’s group after the whole mutant outing, Birdwell attached herself as a love interest to Bass.  She has proven to be a fairly good girlfriend, putting up with his crap. (12/13/14) Had a good time is Anna, found out that sometimes she does relax on the sailing boat.  Also found out that she witnessed a murder and has been using the dream institute to help with it.  Made plans to visit her parents over the holidays.

Name:	Areaaak
Hero:	King Condor
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Seems to be a super smart non-anthropomorphic bird in this world.

Name:	Ashlee Olson
Hero:	Persia
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Aspen Matthews
Hero:	Fathom
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the Olympians and the league, friends with arrowette

Name:	Aubrea Miller
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Aurthur Scott
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Aya Prescott
Hero:	Freak
Birthday:
Origin:	DC
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Benedict Martin
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Brandy Rose
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Brianne Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:	Marvel
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Carmen White
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	In the new verse Bass used his past knowledge to save her from the nest of vampires.  She is secretly attached to his sister and her fate is unknown.

Name:	Cassandra Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:	Marvel
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Catherine Udahbi
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Chasen Grieshop
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Bass met Chasen while he was trying to make alternate friends with the Petrovich group.  Bass was kind of dismissive and doesn’t remember his name but he did offer to go the microverse.

Name:	Charles Conner
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Chelsea Newby
Hero:	Fatal
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Cheryl Spinelli
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Cissie King
Hero:	Arrowette
Birthday:
Origin:	DC
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the league and one of the Olympians who frequent the island.

Name:	Clarrisa Hall
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Cletus C Ludwick
Hero:	Cletus
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Clifford James
Hero:	Halligan
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Conrad Le Fuere
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Christine Smith
Hero:	Wasp III
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Daphenie Lyrman
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Daphenie is classically a bullet sponge, but in this verse she seems to be tougher. She seems to remember bass and was interested in a group he formed.

Name:	Darcy Sennerrette
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Unlike in the previous verse Darcy decided that she was in love with Bass.  He’s been bouncing between her and Birdwell while he works out if he loves either one or both of them.  Darcy is a pretty nice girl even if the connection to Rebecca doesn’t make him comfortable.

Name:	Darwin Karr
Hero:	Fish
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Life partner of The Hank and former male model, Darwin can adapt to anything that isn’t social.  Little spastic but otherwise good guy

Name:	Daylinn young
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Lying to get the dude isn’t becoming in any woman, more so when you use rape threats to get your way.  But she’s managed to trap juice into get married.

Name:	Denise Milani
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of Rebecca’s group

Name:	Dianne Cook
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Not sure that I’ve ever met the real Dianne since the petrovich seems to like to use her and her sister as puppets when she feels like finding new victims.  She doesn’t seem like a bad person, just hurt by her powers and people’s opinions.

Name:	Dudley Collins
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Earlene Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:
Hero:	Edmond Washington
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Elvera Petrovich
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Petrovich is way too used to just mind controlling everyone around her.  While it scares Bass he did offer to be her group’s friend, an offer that they wouldn’t accept because he isn’t cool.

Name:	Emily Garrot II
Hero:	Ink
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Em seems to be responsible for all insect life on the island.  She crates things and can talk to them.  She is also very smart.

Name:	Emily Grey
Hero:	Troll
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the models, also seems like a pretty nice person.

Name:	Estrellita Mercado
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Flora Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Frank Jones
Hero:	Scar
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the Knights of Malta and car club

Name:	Gabriel Jean-Paul
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Genevieve Cuckoos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Glenn Hancock
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Downlow extraordinaire and gay rapist

Name:	Gordon Shumway
Hero:	Gorgon
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Militant leader of jungle warriors.  Also seems to know an different version of Bass

Name:	Hank Walls
Hero:	The Hank
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	The Hank has been a solid member of Bass’s group of associates since he met them in this verse.

Name:	Jack Cole
Hero:	Cracker Jack
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	CJ is a good guy, he might be slow these days, but he’s one hell of a member of the adult teams.

Name:	Jack Mansfeild
Hero:	Fire
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Dude, I could deal with the boning your sister, but Juice?  That’s just weird.

Name:	Jack Serrenette
Hero:	Iron Jack
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Darcy seems to think that meeting him is a bad idea.  He also wanted to stay out of the drama. (12/13/14): Went out of my way to meet Jack, while not the kind of guy he was before, He doesn’t seem like a bad guy.  Found out he was an older generation Wright kid and his sisters are on the island as a result of him.  Found out that Darcy’s parents were murdered by government agencies.

Name:	Jean Bass
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Jean is my mutant sister, she’s ok if a little distant.

Name:	Jennifer Folton
Hero:	Crack Down
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Jennifer Poulson
Hero:	Annaga
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Jeri Shagle
Hero:	Arc
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Jeri is still Jeri, but she has been willing to help out Bass from time to time.

Name:	Jill Mansfield
Hero:	Ice
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	If you where the only ass in a bunker for that many years, I’d have touched it too.  So I get that, but seriously, Juice isn’t that great of a guy.

Name:	Jimmy Carpenter
Hero:	Slim Jim
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Jimone Vierra
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Olympian bur forced to wear an exo skel after an accident.

Name:	Jodi Hope
Hero:	The Light
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Jodi is way more powerful in this verse, she took my hand clean off with a low end blast.  Nice girl, a little over confident in her looks.

Name:	John Urlacker
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Joy Tarter
Hero:	Tart
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Julius Lyca
Hero:	Forsaken
Birthday:	10/31/93
Origin:	Chris
Home Town:
Bio:	W.T.F…

Name:	Julie 'Lass' Kennedy
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Met her on the plane trip to see schools.  She’s not very well socialized but she dropped some news that there are other islands.  She seems to be attached to Foo

Name:	Karen James
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Karen suffered from being attached to Rampage early in the game.  She seems like a nice person but we don’t really know much about her.

Name:	Kate Weatherton
Hero:	Repli-Kate
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Keenan Terrell
Hero:	Geko
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of Gorgon’s team, works road security.

Name:	Kimberly Hyde
Hero:	Synapsis
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Li-Hua
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Runs with Tomai

Name:	Lien-Hua
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Runs with Tomai

Name:	Lilith Cook
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the petrovich group.  Bass is attracted to her from some reason.  He tried to get in with the group just to meet her.

Name:	Lillian Sommerfield
Hero:	Taboo
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Cracker Jack’s partner, protective of him and doesn’t like that Bass talks to him. (probably for good reason)

Name:	Lindsey Winterton
Hero:	Jedi
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Lourdes W. McGee
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Lucian Kleinmann
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Luke Bright
Hero:
Birthday:	12/12/93
Origin:	Ken
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Lura Rorke
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Lydia Kahn
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Lydia tells me that in her old verse, we were married and had kids.  That must have been a better version of me.  Still love her like a sister or more.  Never have been able to get her out of my head, even when I was married.  She will always be special to me, too bad she seems to be avoiding me now.

Name:	Madaline Rorke
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Matt Le Fuere
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Matt Lenard
Hero:	Burn Out
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of Gorgon’s group and seems to be friends with Ace.

Name:	Martha Norman
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Megan Jewell
Hero:	Baby Face
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	This chick’s power is a little scary, but she seems to be a good friend to Ace.

Name:	Melissa Berkley
Hero:	Air Head
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Member of the models, good friends with Boom, Melissa seems to be willing to at least listen to bass’s poor attempts to be friendly.

Name:	Meredith Everitt
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Michael Morr
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Mike manning
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Miles Banner
Hero:	ROSCO
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Milka Vesli
Hero:	Creature
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Seems to maybe be on Morrow’s island.

Name:	Minka Sennerette
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Moira Rorke
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Molly-Lu Hogtoter
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	O.M.F.G. Ace what’s wrong with you?

Name:	Morgan Raue
Hero:	The Demon Raue
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	That little girl is scary.

Name:	Nadine Le Fuere
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Nadine is convinced she’s bad, but I don’t see it.  She’s stuck between her brother and being able to come to terms with her abilities.  She has been running with her dad trying to deal with a white martian.

Name:	Nettie Spinelli

Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Patricia Maine
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Rachel Black
Hero:	Reciprocity
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Res has been willing to help bass out from time to time.  She is just as wild as she was before, maybe even more so than Jeri in this verse.

Name:	Rebecca Serrenette
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	I tried dating Rebecca in this verse but she decided that she wanted something different and found a few others guys to be seeing.  This led her to be under the sway of Fabio.  I’ll always miss her but I don’t know what to do about it.

Name:	Robert Fryer
Hero:	Thor
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	I don’t get his guy, don’t know that care to.  He seemed to be interested in Lydia, not sure I’m ok with that.

Name:	Robert Hunter
Hero:	Powerhouse
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Roxxie Dasilva
Hero:	Shewolf
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Owner of white wolf publishing and has  been sneaking in hints about the supernatural

Name:	Samantha Collins
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Seamus Cathan
Hero:	Clover
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Michelle Morr’s boyfriend and long time test subject.

Name:	Sue Bass
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Normal sister, she in this verse has been pretty cool.  I enjoyed spending some time with her on the island this year (2009).

Name:	Shelby James
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Weird girl that’s attached herself to Ace

Name:	Stephanie Brown
Hero:	Spoiler
Birthday:
Origin:	DC
Home Town:
Bio:	Arrowette’s best friend and companion.  Member of the Olympians and the League.

Name:	Summer Neal
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Susan Spradling
Hero:	Leatherface
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Tim Bass
Hero:
Birthday:	7/21/94
Origin:	Matt
Home Town:	Famine, ID
Bio:	I do what I want.

Name:	Tom Codey
Hero:	Core
Birthday:	11/16/1992
Origin:	Jake
Home Town:
Bio:	This guy is kind of a douchey pussy.  All size and no power.  Beyond being one of the biggest let downs of the security op, he also isn’t any fun to hang out with.

Name:	Tomai Takiguchi
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Worlds greatest hero and fighter of giant monsters.  A tech genius and all around cool guy.

Name:	Trinity Zellos
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:	Raine
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Tucker Dawson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Assigned to Bass during the security operation to act as his Segundo, he has been invaluable and handles himself well.

Name:	Tun Lee
Hero:	#1 Student
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Tyrone Washington
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Tyrone seems to have a thing with baby momma, don’t know if it’s legit, but too many coincidences.

Name:	Val Patterson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Val Patterson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Valeria Patterson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Vallerie Patterson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Vallery Patterson
Hero:	Agent / Q-Foam
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	While I may have lost my Val in the stream jump, She has always been one of my closest friends.  A sister and confidant when I have needed her always.  She is probably one of the best people I know.

Name:	Vallory PAtterson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Waylen Jackson
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Don’t really know much about Waylen

Name:	Yadira J. Richey
Hero:	VoXX
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:	Zaackry Morgan
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:
Hero:	Reb00t
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:	Reboot seems to be robot in this verse and has taken us out on a few missions.  We’ve done so badly that he had unkind things to say about us.

Name:	Archbishop Victor Warman
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio:

Name:
Hero:
Birthday:
Origin:
Home Town:
Bio: